You have no idea what i've been through.
1. I hate the part that i didn't get what i want because too busy helping others get what they want.
2. I hate being a good listener. When it comes to me, no one wants to listen to me.
3. I hate when people asking me to do something, but does not want to help me when i'm asking a favour
I just hate it and i feel so helpless
About Me
- syazatajul
- Tajul and sharifah's team. i'm a proud malay,half chinese and a lil indian. one malaysian is inside me, so say no to racism. engineer in the making.
T____T
kita tak kacau awak pun, kenapa awak kacau kita ;(. jahatttt, benci betul. saje je musnahkan impian orang. tunggu lah nanti aku cari sugar daddy, ehhh! gurauuuu. puihh puihhh puiihhhh simpanggg. tu doa syaza-.-'. tahu umi aku cakap macam ni, cili satu tong kena kang. hmm takpela, malas layan kau ni. walaupun hati terluka still nak cakap, aku malas tengok kau nantiiii, malas tahu malassss! T______T kbye.
aim for the star
i dont like camera. in fact i dont even own one. ok fine, is it handphone's camera count? kalau termasuk, then i have one camera. but last week, masa pergi ambil gambar whole family untuk hari konvo kaklong, i saw something that is soo adorable, so cute, and on and on and on.
fujifilm instant camera. how cute right? righttt?
i know i'm not going to get this from my parents as i'm not going to ask from them. malu la nak minta papa umi sekarang, banyak cekadak aku. takkan tetiba, pa nak ni. ambooooiiii, rosaknya perangai kaaan. i have this one big tabung bottle susu yg penuh dengan resit. ye tuan-tuan dan puan-puan. saya sedar yang kegunaan tabung adalah untuk mengisi duit, malah saya mengisi resit. how stupid this kind of attitude.
ok starting from now, i'm going to save my money to get this baby boo. yes, i said the term of save. jangan pandang rendah dekat aku. rm1 sehari pun dikira menabung. 300 hari, dah dapat rm300. ahh tercapai la kan ehehe. yes, 300 days sound soooo long. mana tahu dapat rezeki terpijak ada orang derma rm1, jadi la sehari tu rm2 menyimpan. ahahaha, ok bye. fine nak kutuk sekarang, kutuk la. tunggu 300 hari lagi T_____T.
btw, cha nana a.k.a farhana mustaffah happy birthda! i love you baby girllll. may Allah bless you in here and after and all your wishes comes true. see you in upcoming 2 weeks. i lovee youu b;)
first week as student againnnn
i start my first week with this
ada banyak lagi yang jadi. tak nak cerita lebih-lebih, nanti jadi apa yang tak diingini. buat masa ni biarlah rahsia.
ok bye.
will miss you
apasal kuning semacam muka semua ni, macam demam kuning. this is gonna be the last memory, lepas ni 2,3 bulan lagi la jumpa. take care dekat kelantan cha nana. dan kau syifaa syahirah tak payah nak bersedih sangat, melaka saja pun. take care love:)
p/s: fana, balik jgn ada cincin dijari dan surat nikah palsu ;D
tamat fasa 1
dah lama tak update, tak ada hati pun nak update sebenarnya. bosan mungkin, hmm ok tak, perkataan yang lebih sesuai ialah malas. malas nak menaip. first practical dekat propel rawang dah tamat jumaat lepas. cepat betul masa berlalu, i'm really gonna miss all of them. dulu aku cakap nak bagi ulasan kan.
ok ni ulasannya :
dekat sana sangat sangat sangat seronok. belum pernah la satu hari tu balik rumah dalam keadaan yang sedih ,frust dan seangkatan dengannya. setiap hari, macam2 ragam ada. tapi most of the time, ragam yang lawak la. dari segi ilmu pula, banyak la aku dapat dari dorang. orang yang berpengalaman kan, macam2 dorang tahu. apa yang aku dapat dengan dorang, tak mungkin aku akan dapat dalam kelas. pakcik rashid a.k.a papa, orang pertama yang aku rapat. suka menyakat, dan lawak. kedua pula, abg hafiz. sama je macam papa, boleh dikatakan anak buah papa ni. dan ketiga, en hamdan. bila dah nak habis tu baru mula rapat sebab en hamdan selalu berkepit dengan papa. yang lain ok juga tapi tak la serapat dorang ni yang aku berani buka mulut bercakap dan melawan. they are so freaking funny. bersyukur sangat dekat Dia kerana bagi peluang macam ni.
minggu ni last cuti, lepas ni masuk belajar balik. secara jujurnya, takde mood lagi. tak tahu mana nak cari mood yang hilang tu. fana yang aku harapkan dapat sambung shah alam, tak dapat buat pertukaran tu. sedih tu jangan cakap lah, baru ingat nak enjoy life dekat sana dengan dia tapi dah tak ada rezeki nak buat macam mana kan. teruskan je la kehidupan yang kekadang terasa kebosanannya bila kat sana. takpe, bukannya aku tak boleh hidup tanpa ada orang yang sentiasa dengan aku. i can be independent. pengalaman mengajar dan menampar aku untuk jadi matang dan berdiri di kaki sendiri. dah ni apakedehal ayat sedih ni. ok bye.
i'll pray for you
i dont have a lot of friends. 16 classmates, 4 of them is my housemate. it's not that i choose to not have a lot friends, it's just i still get trauma to have new friend. umi always said "jangan jadi timing badak" , lower my ego and have a lot of friends. my heart is not easily to be broken, but once it break it's hard to recover. at shah alam, i dont socialize too much. i went to classes, back from class, i stay at home, but for thursday night i went for swimming class with mirang. not like my other friends, they went for club's activity, enter a lot of competition and whatsoever. i want to be that way, like i said earlier, i still get trauma to meet new people. but thank to Him i still get 'kawan sekepala'. swimming class make us to be more closer. i still in the process of knowing her more. masih ada gaduh macam budak-budak. but if we can get through it all, that means we were meant to be real friend right? only Allah knows. as this new semester will start in few weeks come, i'm really hope for one of my 8 years best friend will be one of the uitm shah alam's. her name is farhana mustaffah. i have 7 bestfriend, but the most closes to me is 3 of them because they live at my neighborhood. but one of them already flew away to australia to further her studies. left with me the one that study in utem malacca and the other one is yeah farhana, waiting for her result application to change campus from machang to shah alam. we have been through thick and thin,good and bad times. she accept me for who i am. it's lie if i say that we never been in fight. tapi bila semakin besar ni, kalau gaduh pun hanya tahan 5 minit, but then we'll laughing back. but the most of time we'll laugh at someone mistake, the one that contribute to the fight. si banggang bangau la yang akan kena gelak. when i'm with my bestfriends, they will be the place that i'll pour my heart out after my family and place for lepas geram mengenai orang lain. the best part is, dorang tak terasa. thats why i'm so in love with my girlfriends. i dont want anything else, i just want my family and my 7 bestfriend to be always with me. thats it. it's ok if i dont have a lot of friend to hang out. family and girlfriends is all i need now. please pray for her to be able to change from machang to shah alam. but please dont get me wrong, not that i dont love my exisiting friend in shah alam. but if you know that you have the chance to be with your 8 YEARS bestfriend, siapa tak happy kan? the chance is still 50-50. i'll pray for you b ;). k bye. suka hati mak enon aku update blog dekat office.
my week review at propel (C3) is, i have a kind boss, nice supervsior, cool makcik and funny pakcik. thats it. i'll make my full review in my last week at C3. sekarang masih awal lagi, takut apa-apa jadi. tapi , ahh ada tapi taaau ehehe, perangai pakcik dekat sana sangat la lawak, macam budak2 pun ada. siapa kata orang veteran serious? kau duduk sehari dekat sana, ahh kering gusi,gigi tekak semua ehehe. ok bye
one thing-checked
i'm not into shopping clothes or whatsoever. i dont have good sense of fashion. if i want to buy it, then i will buy it. takde la kalau jalan setapak nampak benda cantik terus beli. nooo,i'm not that kind of person. i'll not spend easily on fashion. fashion is not my thing. tengok la, mana ada belit-belit pun. yang aku dok belit dekat badan ni hanyalah tali pingang, hehehehe. ehhh macam lawak je nak gelak-gelak ni. but, as for ramadhan then aidilfitri, it's a must for shopping la kan? so as today, i already bought something from somewhere. nanti dah sampai baru cakap, ni tak sampai lagi dah pom pang pom pang,tak pasal-pasal tak jadi nanti. so,i'm patiently waiting for the next 7 days to come. ok ciao.
at last syaza
this is the time that i'm gonna unprivate my blog hikss. okay, that kind of laugh is not cool. so weird and so errr eemm takpela tak baik ehehe. done with my semester three final exam. nothing to complain about the final exam as i will not say anything about it until the result is out. seriously, dont ask.
i'm now undergo internship program with uem. i have been placed under propel. eh, i got c3! for those who does not know what c3 is about. c3 is a place. the place is at rawang. rawang is my hometown. hometown=me=c3= cool right? right? no? shut up. i cannot elaborate more about propel as i'm not start yet with them. i'm starting to work with propel next tuesday. hope everything is gonna be fine. amin. this week is 'taklimat' week. 4 days of taklimat, 4 days of makan free, aissh yang tang tu tulis dulu-.-',4 days of full of information and 4 days of full of tips. thank you so much uem and uitm for giving me this awesome chance. i will try my best to learn as much as i can every semester hols with uem's division company. okay enough about that. i'm scare if i praise them too much, i will not get the expected result. bak kata Mr graham graham, biar malu-malu,diam-diam asalkan ada isi.
i changed the link hihihi ;). there is some people that i think there is no need for them to know what revolve around me. they dont even like me and they are not my friend, they just want to know my ups and downs so that they can compare with their life. enough for me to be so childish and feel so much hatred to those kind of people. i just want to be the new me. but before i totally transform to the new me, i need to get rid of these people in my life so that i wont turn back to the old me. this is gonna be a place where i can write my thought, my feeling, and what so whatever without worry about what people think about me. i dont even care about the audience. i'm the director, actress and the audience of my life. i play my own role and judge my own drama.
i hope
At last UEM send us email which clearly state that we will start our job with them this semester hols. But the date will be confirm later. At first, i felt a bit relieve as i will do something in my hols. i already planned to work in the kindergarten as gurdian to the kids there. i really need to start working, as i need those working experience which dealing with people. i am completely reject the work of being sales person. i'm freaking hate those job. with their killing hour, no time to rest. duhh i've been there, and that time it's only make me work there for only 2 days. yeahhh 2 days, not 2 months. But if this UEM not starting this sem i've planned with my friend to send my resume to contractor company which called IKHASAS. They told us last week if we ever plan to work in semester hols we can send our resume to their email. and jyeah they already give us their email and i'm looking forward to send them my resume but i need to wait this 5 june as i have the talk with the alumni about this HEiGIP. Well, i'm not going to lie which i do hope i will start working with UEM this sem. UEM is one of my favourite engineering company after Sime Darby. It's a dream come true when i have been offered to work with them every semester.
ok i have been draft this post for 2 times as i have so much work to do now. i even forgot my best friend's birthday. May Allah bless me and my family. amin
ok i have been draft this post for 2 times as i have so much work to do now. i even forgot my best friend's birthday. May Allah bless me and my family. amin
testing 1 2 3
aku dah delete habis post-post yang sebelum ni. i just dont want to be related with those people anymore. hais bukan putus kawan ke apa la. tak nak ada apa-apa yang mengaitkan aku dengan sesiapa selain dari pertalian seorang kawan biasa atau stranger. tu sahaja. tapi dengan post pasal family aku semua dok buang ahh. hihi sebenarnya malas nak baca satu2 so aku delete je semua. it's a new start for me.
the reason why i did this is because i have no feelings to others. what i meant by no is zero feeling. lagipun ada yang cerita lama yang sudah berpunya, taknak la tetiba ternampak blog aku then terbaca ahh tak ke naya aku. nanti tak pasal-pasal aku dibenci lagi. sedangkan perkara dah basi.jujur aku cakap sekarang aku tak suka sesiapa, tak minat sesiapa, tak rindu sesiapa(yang bukan muhrim), tak ada hati kepada sesiapa, tak mengharap kepada apa-apa. this might sound a bit ego or snob but thats the truth. tapi aku tak la cakap aku tak nak kenal dengan sesiapa. aku nak berkenalan dengan other half aku juga tapi bukan sekarang. masanya ialah bila Allah s.w.t dah tetapkan untuk aku, then masa tu aku memang dah bersedia. Dia maha mengetahui apa yang dia buat. aku juga berharap takde orang yang mengharap kepada aku. cehh macam aku ni superstar orang nak mengharap. no, cakap je. reminder awal gitu.
selagi masih muda ni sudah tentulah nak spend time dengan orang yang tersayang which is family, dan ermm adalah. nanti orang ingat aku ni poyo pula. biar Allah je tahu apa rancangan aku dan diharapkan diberkati dan dipermudahkan Dia. amin.
kbye
p/s: sorry for everything that i done that cause people that i know/ knew hurt. kosong-kosong semula boleh ya pak? hihihi
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